A soldier's wife

I and Raymond had been married for over 6 years. We had a 3 year old son. Raymond was that man any guy would want to be. He was brave, smart, intelligent, good looking and a soldier in the US marines. How we met is a long story which I'll choose not to share. Before we had our son, Raymond was my dream come true. He made me happy. He went to Afghanistan and came back safe. Nothing was wrong until he went back to Nigeria.  I don't know what they had done to him, but when he returned, Raymond wasn't the man I used to know. He would get mad at every single thing. I thought his mother had finally convinced him to get another wife since I couldn't give him a child. I patiently waited for that new wife to come to our house. But nothing of that manner ever happened. Raymond was a yoruba man. His arrogance started showing more as the days went by. I became alarmed when he slapped me because I forgot to add sugar to his tea. From slaps, everything went down the way of constant beatings. Our son wasn't conceived out of love, he was conceived out of pain and hatred. I kept quiet for too long. I started talking back at him, hoping it will alarm him.  It made it worse. The first  time I did, he lifted our plasma TV and threw it towards my way. I almost died, had it not been for God's mercy.

After my son was born, things went from bad to worse. I did nothing but wonder why my life had become that way. Raymond would go out with his friends and come home drunk. He would call me all sorts of names before proceeding to beat me up.

I remember that faithful night when he came back home at 3am. He was drunk as usual. I was asleep when he grabbed my neck and choked me. I was gasping for air. "Who was the man you were talking to ?" He kept asking. I hadn't talked to anyone. He finally let go off my neck and tore my dress. It was as if I had landed in a different dimension. I was still gasping for air, trying to get up when I saw him taking off his clothes. I tried not to scream because I didn't want to wake Junior up. Tears were rolling down my eyes. I cried silently. Raymond turned around and pinned me to the bed. He licked my face. I looked into his eyes, they were blood red. I was convinced I had met  Lucifer face to face. I begged him to leave me alone but he refused to let go off me. The next minute I felt nothing but pain in between my legs. I just wanted to die. He finally got off   me and slapped me. "I can't lie in the same bed with this bitch" He ordered me out of the room. I was weak. I went to the bathroom. I saw my reflection in the mirror. I had become a wreck in tears and bleeding. I had become nobody. Sharon was nobody...

That was when I split in three. I saw 3 of me in the mirror. One was darker than the other. I couldn't face seeing these two personalities who kept fighting each other. I let the darker one take over my body. We went to the kitchen and took a knife. We went to Raymond's room. I stared at him and wondered how he could find sleep after what he had done to me. I took the knife and touched him from head to toe. "Kill him, he deserves it". I kept on staring at him, he was so drunk. I held the knife in my right hand. He was so helpless...I looked at the time, it was 4am.

I cut my wrist with the knife and used my blood to write "GOOD BYE" on the bathroom mirror. I went back to Raymond's room and left the knife next to him. I took Junior   and carried him in my hands. He was still sleeping, holding his teddy bear so tight. Once I put him in the car , he asked:  "Mommy, where is daddy ?"

I smiled and  touched his hair. It was time to drive.

"Go back to sleep, sweetie"


"Standing here and I'm getting heated, Pour me up a drink I swear I need it,  I think I'm about to hurt somebody...I don't deserve this life, I'd make the perfect wife"  - Melanie Fiona (4am)


  1. nice write up Sharon.....PudziiDiablo

  2. hmmm...Ik ben het absoluut begrijpen deze gelijkenis.

  3. Nice write up. Is there a part 2?


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