2012...A year to never forget
I hope you all are well. I decided to write this post as it is demanded of me. Call it the bloggers' tradition. I laugh. It might be to early to post this, but on the other hand 2013 is just a few days away. When talking about 2012, I really wouldn't know where to start from. With constant migraine to the frequent fluctuating of my blood pressure... It is safe to say that 2012 has brought more sorrow to my life than joy. And this for a reason best known to God. It was as if I was on some kind of curse spree. Nonetheless, I learnt valuable lessons that would benefit me in the nearest future. From January through to December, I don't think I went a month without shedding tears or thinking too much. I can say that I have been through a whole lot, not just this year but in the short years of my stay on earth. Where do I start from ?
To value success, you need to fail a few times. Even if that means failing in a every single area of your life. School wise, relationship wise, friendship wise...career wise. Well every single area of my life was affected. I was victim of racial discrimination a few months into the year. In being reluctant to share the story, all I will say is that racism isn't dead and will never die. It left me questioning my existence. And being the emotional me at that point in time, I let it get to me. Most times I would come back from class and burst out in tears. "Sharon, what happened ?" my mother would ask severally. In her confusion, she would call my father and ask him to talk to me. Having my parents being separated isn't easy for one. Well him calling me frequently lead to us becoming very close. Funny enough, I now tell my dad everything. I mean absolutely everything. There's nothing my father doesn't know. He knows who I have been with, who I deal with and what gives me headache.
Financially ? I didn't suffer this year. I laugh. I had this very interesting conversation with my dad where I told him I wanted to be financially independent. He laughed, told me I was too young and I am yet to experience life. Being my stubborn self, I got myself a job and I have been working since August. In combination with my studies, it's difficult. But yeah, I'm the alpha female. I still maintain my straight A's. So I'm very much grateful to God for that. Anytime I try to complain about how difficult it gets, my father would utter these words "I didn't send you to go and work. Face your books." I guess he's being overprotective of me. But at the same time, I want to be independent. I'm leaving the nest real soon. I don't expect him to feed me until I grow old. I'm young, agreed. But I'm shooting for my own. And that before I get married. That's one thing again...
Friendship and relationship. I laugh to my own detriment. If someone told me last year that I would see what I saw this year, I would be the first to say "Na lie". Nobody is safe in these streets. Not even me that tries not to step on anyone's toes. As I'm typing this, some kind of heat is possessing my spirit. The heat of anger and annoyance. After being told that I was a nobody and I quote:
1. You aren't a person of worth. You aren't worth half the second I typed this message
2. You are really really possessed
3. I will leak your nudes
4. If I smell your bullshit again, you are going to be shocked
5. She's a stupid little girl, writing about relationship on her blogs, stupid little girl
I laugh yet again. The sad thing about being me, is my IQ and my very much retentive memory. After taking my time to come up with the craziest idea on Monday, I sat down and thought to myself. I had too many important people talking to me and telling me to let go and let God. It left me wondering where God was in time of war. My own revenge would be horrible enough. I went into a relationship with a very clean mind, only to get rolled over on August 12th 2012 at 2:14am. As expected of me I got mad as hell. And since I couldn't do anything, I ranted. August 16th, I got the call of life when I was in the hospital. After which I let go. Trying to move on, I got fired from a particular firm I was working with on august 17th. I took responsibility , apologized and saw it as "shit happens". August 18th I took my time to think and pray all through. I was in a whole lot of pain considering my family situation at that point in time. On that same night I moved from being Dprincess to being The Alpha Female. I re-opened my blog and started writing anything that crossed my mind. I got angry all over again, when an insider told me something I had never imagined in the beginning of September. All this while I was being nice, I was being called a fool. I believe the ultimate betrayal came up on October 27th. I decided to sit under my iroko tree and watch the following days. I was beyond grieved, because I kept finding out things without even searching for them. And on a matter of a very big coincidence, I found the last piece to my puzzle on Sunday 23rd of December 2012. It was like film trick. Funny how I remember these dates like it was my birthday. I'm not angry about it anymore. I see it this way...now I have a very good story to tell my future daughters. But in all this, I want to thank God for the few people He sent into my life to tell me that I'm not in this alone. They know themselves lol. And this is my prayer for you guys:
Because you showed kindness to me, may God's mercy and favor forever follow you. Whatever land you step your feet upon, you shall possess. The same God who changed Jacob's name to Israel, will change your disappointments to blessings. The sky is the starting point of your success. God will see you through any circumstances you may face in life and Abraham's blessings will be yours. In Jesus name. Amen
On the other hand, I learnt so many valuable lessons. And I now have experiences I will never trade with anyone. Not for anything. I discovered my potentials and talents I never knew I had. I now model, write, act, and design. If you told me I was capable of doing all these back then, I wouldn't have believed you. God does have his reasons for everything.
I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has been supporting me from the beginning. My readers, fans, friends...everyone. God will continue to bless you.
On a matter of demand, I decided to write my first book in this coming new year. Lol, stay tuned for that and much more.
As the case may be, my life just started.
A year is nothing but a day in God's eyes. So let's see what tomorrow holds...
With loads of love and joy,
I wish you all a happy new year in advance
God bless you all
- The Alpha Female