Ladies, Competition and a Pinch of Salt
I've always wanted to know why most women hate each other for no apparent reason. More so, why do women backstab each other foolishly ? Cynthia's "sister for life" became her worst enemy. To Marilyn, Cynthia is just jealous of her style. But to Cynthia, Marilyn is a two-faced bitch who slept with her boyfriend. Oucchhhhh ! Then again you have Nollywood's portrait of the average female: always competing with another campus girl to win the award for the "trendsetter" of the year. I laugh in ancient Latin. Brazilian hair, Peruvian hair, Louis Vuitton bags, Christian Louboutin shoes, Money, Make Up...Attention. Are these the reasons why women tear each other down ? Even so, is it really worth it ? Talking about each other, fighting for men, disrespecting boundaries, exploiting friendship...really ? Ladies, really ?
I do not consider females who deem it just to talk about someone behind their back (but are unable to say their mind in the concerned person's face), to be women. Harsh statement ? Not really. Unlike popular belief, gossiping isn't a typical female trait. Gossiping is a sign of deep insecurity botheration. This because the sole purpose of gossiping is making the subject feel inferior. I don't think I have gossiped intentionally. More so, I frown on people who keep asking for the latest "gist" (personal news, development...) alias "BBC World News broadcasters" ( in a local store near you...or better still on your couch). I have named them this way because their non-paid job is mainly: sourcing, broadcasting and dissapearing. One, their main aim is to get as much information from you as a person. They want to know what is going on with you, what you are failing at, who you've slept with...In other words, you're their source of news. Two, they discuss your matters with people who you don't know personally...or in worst cases, people you don't really esteem. And last but not least, they dissapear when the "what about you ?" question follows after your complaints. Sad ? but true. Talking about someone might be sweet to the tongue. We often times forget a boomerang always returns to its owner. This just means that what goes around, comes around. In order to gossip effectively you must be able to face the consequences that may follow. E.g: enemity,competition, broken bottles...twitter subs. You are even at risk of breaking a few nails, darling. Remember, every spoken word cannot be swallowed.
Fighting over a guy is one of the "thou shall not" rules. It's not only downgrading, but also senseless. I am personally (nodding head to the beat) guilty of this act. Proud of it ? Nope. Lesson learnt ? Most definitely. I'm not here to rant about guys as you will have it, but these men do not care. Well...the majority of them. Fighting over a guy will not only feed his (often times) pointless ego but will also make him lose "respect" for you. That's even if he had it for you in the first place. One thing I noticed in our present society is that most men (boys rather) derive pleasure from having females fight over them. Today's tweet reads:
- "Females gotta fight to keep their man, else another girl gonna take her place"
No, boo boo. A man that truly wants to be with you will not move for anything or anyone. You'll find out that women are very often determined to break up homes, marriages and relationships. Believe me I have encountered one of them personally. Her excuse left me flabbergasted. Beloved, I was astound at the emptiness, pointlessness and ludicrousity of her acclaimed motive: I met him FIRST! She said she met him first. Is this imbecilic statement comprehensible? I thought as much. The bottom line here is: fighting over a guy is never worth it. How much will that man, you are killing yourself for, help you grow in life ? Ask yourself this question and think properly. In worst cases, the man in question might just be playing with your heads. Who cares to know ? Move on quietly. There are too many handsome and well-mannered men out there that are ready to spend their lives with someone like you. Fighting your fellow girl because of a ordinary man will not help you in anyway whatsoever. God sometimes has his ways of exposing bad heads to us. So we ought to take these people for who they are: bad heads. Dazzall! If you've been in a situation like this, keep your head up. Forget it happened, forgive and ignore. You'll find out that such situations will not bring death to your door step. My advice here is: move on and be happy. Avoid any discussions with people that are involved in the matter. Sweetie, there is nothing to talk about. What has happened, has happened. Time is nobody's friend. Carry yourself like the queen that you are. Basically, have your morals and dignity unshaken. Just leave them guessing...When they are tired, they will give up. All the same, women sure do love to cause unnecesary crinkum-crankum. Hehe !
Familiarity breeds contempt. Once you let someone, especially women, know you like your personal shadow, it's over for you. They'll disrespect your privacy and encroach into the innermost part of your private life. Heck! They'll have VIP access to your relationship, friendships and family life. Disrespect in this case is inevitable. Know your enemies in order to avoid stress. I'll keep stressing this until my tongue refuses to co-operate with my mind. Know your enemies. There is nothing wrong with testing people and their motives. But don't be paranoid at the same time.
Then again you have the unnecessary competition based on latest trends. This could be hair, clothes, mobile devices... Oh ! I remember the good old days ! Days when girls would get angry at a co-female for having a better Blackberry. Premium hair voltrons would find inexplicable means to rock Brazilian hair. Who wore it better at the club last night ? Question of life! This is were I blame society. There is beauty in being unique. I find it funny when unnecessary arguments occur due to the "she has it, why can't I have it too" mentality. All fingers are not equal. More so, this form of competition is worthless. The only reasonable explanation for this is jealousy. And jealousy, if not handled properly, can lead to disastrous situations. It all starts with comparison. Like people always say, a woman's smile can cover up all the trials and tribulation she has been through. Therefore do not assume anything and do not envy. Envy won't help you in any way whatsoever.
The little, but yet so relevant, pinch of salt (to taste) in this article is that competition is actually healthy. But only when taking place in a condusive environment and for the right reasons. Maybe some other time I will talk about men and their, oh so popular, Bro Code. Maybe I'll just put another story to spice up your day. Or maybe I could gain inspiration from another Twitter sub. Who knows ?
Meanwhile any questions, need for advice, topic suggestions, enquiries...etc ? Feel free to e-mail me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Until then, keep visiting this space. It might just get very interesting in the coming year. *wink*
-The Alpha Female.