2013...A Bitter Sweet Year

First things, first! I am OFFICIALLY .COM! Haha! For some odd reason, going (dot) com is actually a big deal in the bloggers’ world.  Don’t ask me, why or what. I have NO idea. I’ve been waiting for this moment for over a year.  Pheew! This year wasn’t so bad after all for #AFM, was it?  I’ve been waiting to write this post. Patiently tip toeing…Normally, I would post this on December 30th.  But then, I decided to go against my own tradition (Or is it every blogger’s tradition?). This is what I’d like to call my “end of the year” post.  I’m actually excited to write this. Bear me with me as it may or may not turn out to be a very long post.  I’ve learnt a lot this year.  With just a few more days to 2014, I wonder what the rest of the year holds for me.  I don’t have any major  plans and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a boring Christmas – New Year period at home. Waking up on these two faithful  days just to greet everyone and go back to bed. I might just be spend my time watching Nollywood Movies…as always! Le sigh !


After  last  year’s scandal and January-February’s revelation of destiny, dearly beloved, I became paranoid. Yes, alpha females have trust issues too.  Since last year, I had been looking for that green snake who found it necessary to communicate my every move to people I really don’t like. Scrap that. Let me be diplomatic…to people whose  existence is unknown to me. I noticed something was odd when I saw subs (you’re too big for this, missy) flying  on my timeline. In my mind I was like: I know who I talk to and why is this one in my DM asking me private questions? To cut a long story short, I found the snake and flushed it down the toilet . Whew! Ain’t nobody got time for that!

December 31st last year,I told myself I didn’t need any new friends. So I managed to keep my circle very tight. To be honest, that had to be one of the best  decisions I had ever taken in my life. My friendships were drama free.  I guess I’m not the bad girl anymore. There is absolutely nothing better than knowing the type of people you’re dealing with. Friendships became partnerships.   I won’t be the only one blogging on this platform anymore. I’m about that TBPG (Team Before Personal Gain) life. You won’t get too far in life if you don’t have a team behind and with you. Femme Fatale (@KokoletteDoll)  is now one of AFM’s bloggers. Watch out for her in the coming weeks. I smell something…Odikwa very dangerous  o! Catfish is there too.  This fellow will blog when he decides to. Hiss! Unfortunately he has chosen to remain anonymous and has the good (what’s the word?) CEO that I am, I have to respect his  wishes. Hehe! Until then…Let’s  see what he has in store for us. I’m excited about these two!

This year I learnt how to differentiate close friend from friends, acquaintances, people I just know and strangers.  Now that I look at it, I had a lot of people I considered friends  move from one category to the other. Not because they offended me but simply because they weren’t helping  me grow. Neither did they give me the opportunity to be there for them or help them in my own little way.  You see…Friendship is a mutual thing. It’s about growth, help and understanding.  If any of these are missing then I don’t see why you would still be in my life.  What else can you do than poke your nose in my business ? Pffff…At this point it is: no new friends, no no no.  I ride with my day one niggas *in Osufia’s voice*  Bleh! No time for chere k’ambia! 

One more thing!  Don’t you just hate it when people bring up something you ditched a long time ago? It happened countless times this year. I'm over it. I'm not talking about it, so why are you? I had to re-evaluate the people in my life because of that. Well…The truth about people lies in the details.  Or maybe I’m just overthinking again?

I made 3 new friends regardless. I guess I wasn’t too strict after all.

Lesson of the year: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Love and Its mysteries

My love life this year has been all kinds of hilarious. I spent the first half of the year weighing my options. I went out on dates, turned down a few (because my instincts weren’t just there) and wondered if this year was for me and Mr right.  I had a tiny  crush o ! Only for me to get sister zoned on  one of faithful September evening. I won’t lie. My first reaction was: oh, it’s cool. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.  Then I shed a tear or two. Fam, I won’t lie. It can pain ! The denial phase wasn’t too far fetched. I was like na me be this? What just happened? Nahhh! I didn’t just get sister zoned.  Have you seen me? ( that was me trying to make myself feel a lot better…and it flopped) . Hehe! I had to remember a few things and couldn’t help but gain major respect for the  guy in question.  That aside.

Then there’s one thing that happened that I didn’t like.  I was feeling someone until…Mehhh ! There’s no need going over spilled beans. One thing I noticed about myself this year is that I actually let little stuff like tweets get to me and make me question a lot of things. It took a divine intervention for me to convince myself into believing that Twitter logic isn’t actually for me. I wouldn’t get mad…Just a little upset when I saw him flirting on my timeline. Oh well! You really can’t be possessive over what you don’t have. And I’m just being emotionally atta…scrap that!

Oh well to cut long story short, madam is taken and not available on the market till further notice! Hehehe ! I found love when I wasn’t even ready or expecting it. Odd isn’t it? It felt right because I didn’t have to impress him or go out of my way to say  “I love you” first. I can just breathe and be my annoying self.  So far…He’s been the guy I have been praying and wishing for. I hope he doesn’t see this. Lol! Well I hope the coming year holds something beautiful in store for us and you too.

Lesson of the year: don’t chase love, let it chase you.  

In general…

2013 was actually bitter sweet.  Bitter because of the tears I shed for disappointment and anger. 2013 was bitter because I lost my baby cousin to professional incompetence.  2013 was bitter because of the many secrets that got uncovered with each passing week. 2013 was bitter because I was misunderstood quite often. 2013 was bitter because I witnessed my second church tragedy which resulted into me refusing to step into any other church. 2013 was bitter because it was year of trials and temptation.  As expected I fell into a few temptations. Regardless, I keep praying that God will give strength to overcome them all. ( And the church said…)

2013 was a sweet year !  I got so many opportunities career and education wise. Now I just need to make up my mind on where I want to go and start from. I want to make this decision based on what my mind and soul needs. Not based on what my friends are telling me, my potential husband wants  or what my parents want me to do. I think the highlight of the year was when I got to work  as a hostess. I discovered a side of me that I never knew existed. I’m actually very outgoing. I’ve always been the quiet type. I just sometimes don’t feel like saying anything.  I got to combine all my skills in one…  Speaking 4 languages at a time.  Haha! I felt like a boss. Cool money, amazing job and burnt skin. Yes I was blacker than average because my foolish self wouldn’t stay out of the damn sun.

Any weird events?

Yesssss! My birthday ! Allow me to hiss for the next 60 seconds. (…) Only thing I have to say about that is… Hmmm! If Nigerians are involved in my wedding planning…Ehen! I will so turn into a Bridezilla with 10 horns and 4 eyes.  Nwanem, zero tolerance for nonsense.  Ah! Can you imagine?!

Now let’s compare…

Compared to 2012, I’m a very different person.  I know when to be Sharon and when to be The Alpha Female. I’m no longer mad, bitter, upset…whatever.  I’m a much happier person than I was last year. There’s been  a drastic change in my life so far. The only thing I’d want to change is my emotions. Unfortunately I have reduced them but that’s the only thing I can do. At the end of the day, I don’t have to prove anything to anyone except God. If being emotional makes me weak, then so be it. If I changed completely, I would ditch the people who care dearly about me. I’d be nonchalant. That’s not the type of person I want to be.

Most of these celebrities put up a front when they are in public. They all still cry and get angry.  That’s just life. I so happen to wear my heart on my sleeves. Oh well!

Lesson of the year: Be you!

New Year’s Resolutions ?

I’ll keep it short this time. FCHW (faith, consistency and hard work). I need a lot of consistency right now and that’s what I’ll be working on this coming new year.  And oh! I’m going for a healthy lifestyle.  Less pizza, more exercise.

Anything else ?

Yes! I want to say thank you to everyone who has taken out time to read and comment on this blog. I want to say a big thank you to those who have been so devoted to my stories that they’d remind  me that I forgot to post a new story. I want to thank every single one of you on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook for the lovely and blessed comments. I’m so excited for this book I’m working on!

Thank you Reginald, Awura Ama, Koko, Kenny, Nonye…  Every one of you guys!  Every one that has reached out to me in private…You don’t know how blessed that makes me feel!  37 000 views is not beans o!

Thank you Amebor.com for the Facebook features. It is indeed an honour.

God bless you all for me !

Did you notice how I was Sharon all through this post ?

Hehe! 2013 was definitely my year of fresh oil and distinctive shining.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance, lovelies.

Love always, 

  The Alpha Female

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