Let's Assume He Just Wants The box

Disclaimer!! Lately, I've been getting a lot of e-mails from some you asking me to talk about a particular topic. Thanks a lot you guys ! 

The box... I hate the word "box". In a world where texting and not communicating vocally has become the norm, misinterpreting someone's motive isn't out of the question. Nowadays, you have guys complaining about women always assuming one thing or the other. One of these assumptions is that every most guys are just about the sex. To be honest... I'm no exception to  this one, unfortunately. It all goes back to the influence of social media. 

If you're on Facebook or Twitter, you'd probably be able to relate to what I'm about to say.  Facebook is actually a lot more conservative than Twitter (or maybe I just don't have the right Facebook friends). On Twitter, you meet crazy people with crazy mindsets. From people who don't mind having sex with a woman on her period to kids cursing out the their parents because they got them a white iPhone 5s instead of a black one. Yes, everything goes down on twitter. You also have the, what I would like to call, Twitter Gurus who deem it right to share their point of views that are nowhere near reality. How it influences you...well, it's quite easy. Because  you follow a huge amount of  people on twitter, you'll form a certain type of link with it to your personal life. This just means that the people who you're cool with and talk to on twitter would very much probably becoming a part of your life. It doesn't even matter if you've met them in person or not. You could get so close to someone you'll forget you've never set your eyes on them. That's how bad and serious it is. 

Aye! If you're lucky enough, you meet the right people. If you're not that lucky, you might just end up commiting suicide because of some twitter person. The people you follow, follow other people who follow other people who follow some more people...So in tthat church mind of yours, you might just believe you have the entire world on your timeline. When topics like sex come up, you'll apply that earned knowledge to your real life. I mean, 98 percent of guys on my timeline talk about sex like they are professionals at it (empty vessels make the loudest noise, but y'all know I'm not here, right?)  and they tweet about it every damn day. Having me all like: 

Put up a nice picture as an avatar or post it on Instagram, you have all these guys in your DM like:

How does one not expect you to believe that they just want sex from you? It's all about giving chances and having your eyes wide open. You're allowed to question anybody's motive. One thing I've learnt this year is that every one deserves equal chances...No matter how bad they may seem. If a guy just wants sex from you, babe, there is nothing wrong with that. It's only wrong the moment you fall for it or give in. You have to respect guys who go straight to the point and don't lie to you on that "I love you. There's no other one in my life" type of nonsense. You then know who to avoid and who to hang around with. Never blow off a guy when he just trying to have a simple conversation with you. I know some of my ladies like to take things too far with the "shakara". You're not helping matters and you probably won't get the ring you've been praying for. The box is in your court, nobody will open it unless you give them the key. (That excludes rape...) 

Please don't take this social media logic into your real life. Learn to give people chances. The same way you want to have a simple and intellectual conversation with a guy, is the same way some guy out there just wants to share his visions with you. I have to be honest, sometimes we ladies assume things out of the context and it ends up ruining us. I might tweet during the night when I'm in bed, but during the day I get busy and I meet people every day. I meet new guys all the time and from talking we become friends and from friends...Well! 

A guy's true motives lie in the details of his conversation with you. The good thing about texting is that you can easily re-read what was said and draw your conclusions. I do it all the time. How he looks at you can says so much about what he's truly thinking about. Be honest with yourself, when you're in love with a man there is this particular way you'd look at him. It's not the "I'm gonna eat you up like a candy bar" look. It's more like: 

If that nigga don't give you a similar look while you're talking with him but he on that "I'm gon' eat you up like a fat kid eats cake"...Girl...Pack your load and go. Easy Pizzy. 

Try to be nice and honest. That way you will attract an honest guy. It might not pay off now but it will pay off in due time. Believe me on that. 

The bottom line is that what you see on social media is far from reality. Don't make the mistake of measuring every guy with the same ruler. 

Smile more ! 

Love always, 

- The Alpha Female

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