Ménage à Trois...

 Ménage à Trois

On nights like these, I sit down and ask God what the essence of life is if we all are going to die someday. What exactly are we fighting for? Sometimes when I hear people talk about infidelity, I can’t help but ask myself how they are capable of being a part of it. I mean… How do you hurt the person you claim to love and adore just for a second of lust?  How do you betray a heart that adores you for a moment of pleasure? And after that… What’s next? You lie. You hide. Why be part of something you can’t proudly admit to doing in public? Of what essence is it? These are the exact same questions I asked Henry on that fateful Sunday. As expected he couldn’t give me an answer. That just proved the pointlessness of his act. I’m still appalled, shocked and angry. I still am, Henry…I still am.

I woke up that morning feeling somewhat sick. I greeted Henry. He smiled and went back to preparing his sermon for the day. I hopped into the shower and imagined how life would be a little bit more blissful with the cry of a child  in the house. But what could I do? Henry was a devoted pastor, a good husband but yet our sex life was nothing to write home about.  It’s either he was tired or he had to have a prayer session with the elders in church. I understood the demand of his ministry. I mean… I forced myself to understand him. I wasn’t very happy with it. Cold nights without him… I’d do my prayers and think…Reminisce on what the last time we had sex felt like. That was 18 months ago. I had spoken to Clara about my every day travail and she advised me to get sex toys or find someone who could get the job done. I remember looking at her as if she had completely lost her mind. I mean this is the same person leading the entire church in praise, worship and advocating for celibacy during women’s meeting. I cleared those thoughts out of my head as I reached out for my towel. Suddenly I heard Henry saying he wasn’t sure he would be able to make it to church. He complained of a migraine. I offered to quickly make his breakfast so he could take some drugs. To my surprise, he refused my every effort to help him. He told me I should represent him in church and I should take the sermon to brother Peter.  I got dressed, had a cup of tea and left for church. For some odd reason, I felt something was about to happen but I told myself that God is in control.

I got to church on time but I was surprised when I saw everyone getting into their cars and driving off. I looked for brother Peter and asked him what was happening. “Sister Jane, the owner of the church building alerted me not to enter the complex. Apparently, there is a gas leakage somewhere. I’m not too sure of what he said. But I decided to send everyone home since I couldn’t get in touch with your husband, senior pastor”.  I told him God was in control and I went back to my car. I felt sick and tired.  Evelyn, my younger sister, knocked on my window and asked me to open the door for her which I did. I wondered what she had to tell me this time around. She sat in the car and started asking me questions about the whereabouts of my husband and Clara. I told her Henry was ill and I hadn’t seen Clara in the past two weeks. Evelyn looked at me and started laughing. I asked her what was funny. She said nothing was funny except the fact that I was very naïve. Evelyn then asked if I was okay because  I looked pale.  I didn’t answer her question. I just wanted to know where that statement of my being naïve was coming from.  Evelyn got out of the car and told me to drive straight home and I’ll find the answer to my question there. I didn’t even want talk further so I told her to pass a message to our youngest sister, Martha. Evelyn’s facial reaction sparked a flame of curiosity in me.

“Hmmm. Okay, I will give her your message. And Jane… If you need somewhere to rest, my door is always open.”

I thought that was self- explanatory.  I drove back home. Upon arriving I noticed the door of the apartment was unlocked. I was sure I locked the door before leaving. I opened the door slowly. I heard noises and moans coming from our bedroom.  Clothes, thongs and bra’s on the floor… I didn’t want to believe what I was hearing. Maybe I had stepped into the wrong apartment. With every step I took closer to our bedroom, my heart rate went up. My temper was already boiling.  I opened the door gently and saw Henry, Martha and Clara consumed in, what I would like to call, madness.All three consumed with lust and passion. The way he made love to Clara, he had never done with me. I watched them in silence at first. I wouldn't lie I was aroused. What Clara did, I couldn't do. Martha seemed like the odd one left out. The connection was between Clara and Henry. She rode him like I life depended on it. "You're killing me". Clara...Her body movement was a piece of art. Was this what people called a threesome? My best friend, my husband and younger sister behaving like wild animals? I screamed out of hurt. I was confused. I didn’t know what to think. I don’t  know which of these two traitors asked me if I wanted to join in. I was too weak to say a word. I looked at Henry, the man I had married and pledged my faithfulness to.  Chairman was just there, naked while Clara was giving him head. I was still screaming. My sister stood in the corner of the room and I knew she feared what I would do next. But Henry and Clara just continued as if I wasn’t there. As if I wasn’t human… They broke me. I was devastated. I couldn’t find the words to express my emotions. So I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife.  I stormed back into the room and stabbed Clara but she didn’t stop.  Her blood covered my hands. She stopped, looked back at me and went back to…to…licking...tasting...playing...teasing...his penis...my penis. I dropped the knife in confusion. I knew I was about to run mad. So I took off my clothes and left the apartment.

I walked down the street in my nakedness. What else could anyone do to me?  After all no one can see me. I’m a lost, hurt and angry soul looking for answers. I want to know…why this man… Clara and Martha…I’m just looking for answers.

I am a ghost looking for answers.

-        -  The Alpha Female 


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