TNT: I Don't See Why I Should Ask A Guy Out
Another Thursday night, another set of thoughts on relationships... Have you ever, as a woman been in that situation were you really like a guy but he's not making any move in showing his interest in you? Sometimes your feelings just mount up to your throat and you just lie in bed as if you're about to explode because you have so much love to give. Oga is just not making any move towards materialising all the flirting sessions you two have shared. And then you're faced with with a little dilemma: do you tell him you like him and ask him out ? Or do you conceal your feelings till he's finally man enough to chase a relationship with you? I've been on both ends of the rope and to tell you the truth...The thing get as e be. You need to understand that there are different types of people in this world. The mature ones, the childish ones, the ignorant ones... Men come in different shapes, sizes and personalities. Now, you can tell one man that you like/love him and he will run to his friends bragging about how you're forcing yourself on him and etcetera. You can tell another man that you like/love him and he will be mature about it but will leave you to wear the pants in the relationship. After all, he thinks, you're the one who asked him out so you might as well just be the man in the relationship...place the phone calls, fix the romantic dates ( this you two should be doing together...not you putting in all the work alone), arrange meetings with his parents... And then, you can tell another man that you like/love him and he will take the lead from the very moment you open up to him. Now this last one is very rare... The traditional thing would be the man asking you out and him taking the lead as you two chase a wonderful relationship. Nowadays... I can go on YouTube and find men talking about how there are more women than men on planet earth. In other words, many men don't believe they have to put in work anymore. Before you ask him out try to have a clue of what type of guy he is. Is he proud, arrogant, lazy? The problem isn't in you asking a guy out. The problem lies in what happens in the first 3 months after you've expressed how you feel to him. If you fall on the emotional side, you wouldn't want to exhaust your energy in getting to know a man better who doesn't want to be known. Believe it or not... And I say this despite what a lot men say... A man would always chase what he wants. He would always go for the woman he wants regardless of opposition exempting her already being married or in a serious relationship. Men always put effort in getting to know the woman they truly have feelings for. I can understand that maybe you have excuse for him "Oh he's busy" " oh, he's not the type to show his feelings" etc. Bull crap, I tell you. A man will always go for what he wants. No one is perfect but that doesn't mean some cannot be good. You'd be surprised at how you'll find the red flags in the little things. He may not call everyday but does he at least try to check on you often? If you sometimes feel you're the one chasing him then you're got it all wrong. You should start afresh... with someone else. Sometimes you're entertaining the thought of him being busy but then he's simply chasing the other woman he truly has feelings for. We women are good at making excuses for men. Sometimes excuses are acceptable, most times they aren't. If you constantly find yourself overthinking and needing his verbal assurance that it's not what you think...then maybe... Just maybe he isn't the one for you. Sometimes you think you've found a guy different from others but the truth remains that he isn't meant for you... And that's just the sad truth.
There is nothing wrong in telling a man how you feel about him. The problem lies in how he processes it and what happens in the following 3 months between you two. They usually say that the 3 first months are the honeymoon phase of a relationship. But if those 3 months sounds more like bitter leave phase, then it's time to let go. You'd do yourself so much good in letting a time waster go on time. The moment it begins to drag for a year, two years... You begin to develop dead weight which you carry over to your next relationship. Consequently the next relationship fails because of all the trust issues and the fear to love again. Do your future husband the favour of not dragging yourself through emotional stress because of a Bozo. You will end up suffering him and yourself...depriving yourself the chance to be loved accordingly.
Don't look for perfection, look for what makes you happy and what you can tolerate.
With that being said....
- The Alpha Female