True Forgiveness...Isn't As Easy As You Think

True Forgiveness... Isn't as easy as you think 

It's almost 12pm and I haven't gotten out of bed. I thought to share a thought with you all before I start my day. Has it ever occurred to you that we are meant to forgive people who hurt us seventy times seven times but the process of forgiving is a lot more challenging than it seems? I'm one of those people that keeps records and document things in diaries. I started keeping records because I told myself I wouldn't want to forget what exactly happened and why I cut a certain person off. My reasoning was this... I can forgive them but I can't let them back into my life. You go your way, I go my way. Simple as A B and, the cat letter, C. The process of forgiveness is quite daunting. You tell yourself that you've forgiven someone, then you see them, and then all those ill emotions begin to pile up and subsequently you un-forgive them. Let me share my story with you. I can now because it's a tale of the past. 
I was once very naive and I loved to see the good in people even when I'm being told that they are bad news. As they say, I always put my love glasses on not because I was foolish but I because I believe my stay in this world was to see things differently and bring an atom of love before I return to God. But it seemed like the devil really used people more often than was needed. So I became friends with wolves in sheep clothing. Wolves that knew I was about to dive into a pool of crocodiles but they didn't tell me. How could they? They were part of the crocodiles that were seeking to pierce my heart from the other end of the water. Wolves that smile with you but they discuss your downfall privately. But as the Bible would always say, there is nothing hidden under the Sun. It wasn't even about a boy, it was about their dubious character. Women they say are deadlier than pythons. And this is nothing but the truth. Oh I was very angry. I was hurt because it all seemed like a domino effect. The more I kept digging, the more I kept seeing, the more I started hating. I was actually doing myself a lot of harm to say the least. It was just piling with every passing day. Until October 2012 when I told myself, I will take them to God in prayer and leave them at his altar. I remember being very angry when I stepped to His throne and I left there even angrier because I kept complaining and my complaints made me even more of a bitter soul. For weeks I kept going there, I'd talk to God and I would ask him if he wasn't going to do anything about the situation anytime soon. I wasn't about to rest till I was vindicated and I was very much ready to be judged for my mistakes but they had pay for theirs all cost. Why because I didn't come to them with any bad intention but they on the other hand... I just couldn't stand betrayal. But that was God's way of telling me I was going to meet more people with even worse intentions. I was 18 at the time. If I carried a machete and killed a chicken for every person that has offended me in the space of two years my house would be a pool of blood. So what did God really want me to do? Just let go and not seek revenge at all? 
Yes. That is what he wanted me to do. An angel once told me to read the book of Psalm and pay attention to the prayers king David prayed during his time of affliction. I call this person an angel but because he portrays the very character of one. A whole king had been betrayed a countless number of times...who was I to complain? I had no choice but to let go bearing in mind that God also forgives me when I talk too much and lose my temper. So I too should gather the courage to forgive...init.

God knows why he asks us to forgive those who hurt us. It's for our own good. Forgiving might not be easy but it's worth it. It's one hell of a process and it most often needs time... Don't rush it just let go. Truth is, most people we encounter are undeserving of our forgiveness and second chances. You're not giving them a second chance, you're giving it to yourself. You're giving your heart a second chance to love and be at peace. When the hurt starts piling up, tear it down. You owe it to yourself to be happy. 
Isn't it just funny how I'm capable of advising every one else well enough but I can't advise myself? Lol I too have a huge list of people to forgive...but I will get there in time...I will. 

Now, with that being said...

Love always...

- The Alpha Female


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