Don't Be Like Me… Don't Burn Bridges Too Fast
Tonight is one of those nights when my thoughts do the most. More so, I have had a very long day. I have a very short lesson I want to share. Perhaps this is coming from a much too personal angle but as a writer… You feed off pain and misery.
I used to think of myself as a very forgiving person (which I am to a very large extent). But although it didn’t take me much to forgive, it took me one thing to pardon an offender: an apology. With that said, I started getting accustomed to the idea of not needing an apology before I could decide to let go. Although keeping grudges isn’t one of my most favourite things to do, the hurt could and did cloud my vision. The whole process of reconciliation was one I hated going through because it brought back unwanted memories. It already took me so long and so much to suppress the pain, why then would I bother myself with asking questions and talking about it since it would even hit the nail further into my heart? I’m not a fan of self-deceit and hypocrisy which means that whenever I am offended, you would notice it in one way or the other. I used to be very tolerant but you see... Sometimes you meet people and their character and bad habits flow over into your bloodstream. I picked up this very grandiloquent habit of burning bridges too fast and it’s been quite a plague. Here is why I picked it up.
Ever been scared of being or becoming an obstinate fool? There is this particular idiom that goes around town: once bitten, twice shy. This idiom simply means that when someone or something has hurt you once, you tend to avoid that thing or person. Being an obstinate fool in this case would mean that I would continuously make myself vulnerable to being manipulated by the same person over and over again. Manipulation, as stated earlier, is an anathema in my encyclopedia of life. A friend, lover or even family could easily become a persona non grata to me because I would burn that bridge like it’s nobody’s business. At that point, nothing else mattered except my emotional well being. I would tell myself everyone deals with pain differently and this how I choose to deal with mine. It’s only in a case where the other party decides to call my name from the other side of the valley… Then I’d rebuild that bridge.
I’ve lost a lot of people in my life due to their asininity. And it is even more true that you ought to get rid of toxic people in your life. But as I have repeatedly been an infidel in the presence of God and He still hasn’t burnt that bridge between me and him… It would only be unfair to burn bridges where the bridge doesn’t have to be burnt. I’m still teaching myself that nobody is perfect and more often than not, the people I love will offend me, betray me and push me to the wall.
I don’t think anyone has ever gotten to point of let me block,delete and ignore Sharon… But I have done it more than enough to times to fill a broken cup. But hey! I can only become better in this life and so can you.
Don’t let your emotions cloud your good judgement. Don’t be like me… Don’t burn bridges too fast.
- The Alpha Female