Late Night Thoughts: Beauty is a gift…And Maybe A Curse
Dear future husband,
Before you begin to ponder as to why I’m writing you this letter today, do hear me out. I remember saying I wouldn’t write you anymore. Just like every other letter, I never read the last one I wrote to you again. It’s just something I never do… Read a letter I wrote again. Maybe it’s just my humble way of doing away with unwanted emotions. Writing to me is like therapy. As a matter of fact, it is therapy. In writing I gather the right words to express just what my tongue cannot formulate. I actually think I’d be the type of wife to write you a long essay telling you exactly why I’m angry at you. I think you should know by now that I’m a thinker. I love to think… And maybe I think too much.
You know growing up, I always wanted to feel and be pretty. Unfortunately I wasn’t for most of my teenage years. I guess I can blame puberty for that. Nevertheless, look at me now. There are days I don’t want to be pretty. From the “Hey sexy” to the “I just want to be friends”... I can smell deceit 3 kilometers away and I can tell you it has a foul smell. Beauty is a gift… It makes you stand out when needed. But then I see it as curse sometimes because it comes with added stress: unwanted attention. Some are even very predictable with their words. Some are even worse they dance their way to your heart and leave you. Some even display an unusual kind of lack of temerity… “I didn’t think you would answer me” are words that make me put a full stop to a sentence void of positive adjectives. What am I trying to say? I wish being pretty didn’t mean I have to take my time to separate the boys from the men. It’s a draining and daunting process…
Unlike all other times… I have very few words to say to you. I’m just tired. I just don’t know… Finding you is becoming a task for someone who doesn’t have a soft heart.