Uby's Voicemail


I remember waking up to a strange message from an unknown number.  Looking at my line of work, it didn’t surprise me that my number circulated around town. As an Emcee,you shouldn’t expect anything less. Nevertheless this one message was strange and left me with mixed feelings. I decided to take a shower to clear my mind because it seemed as if my spirit had been fighting all night long. I prayed about it… But then the feeling didn’t go away. As I stood in the shower, my phone rang once again. Before I could pick it, the caller dropped. It was the same number. I decided to do what I usually never do: call back an unknown person. Surprisingly, the number didn’t exist. I thought I was  dreaming. It didn’t seem as if I had dialled the number once again, I just clicked on missed call… The number really didn’t exist. I decided to put my phone on airplane mode because I was creeped out. As I was getting dressed, my phone rang. It was the same number that had called me the first time. I picked up the phone but the caller hung up. I looked at my phone once again…It was still on airplane mode. 

WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TONIGHT

That was the text that I saw next. At this point I knew something wasn’t right. I knocked on Jide’s door but I got no reply. Jide is a light sleeper. He usually wakes up at every little sound. His car keys where on the dining table and his pack of cigar was there too. He never left the apartment without those two things. Jide valued his car like an Igbo man values money. The worst habit he had was sleeping with his car keys under his pillow. I kept knocking but he didn’t open the door or respond to me. I tried to force the door open but the door was locked. Jide never locked his door. He was the most careless guy I knew. I decided to look for the spare key to his room which he always kept in the kitchen drawer. I got to the kitchen and started hearing strange noises. It seemed like the voice of a woman but it sounded vague. The kitchen light  began to flicker I told myself the light bulb probably did its time. I got the key and left the kitchen. My phone vibrated stating I had a voicemail. I hate listening to voicemails but this one was from the same number that had called me. I was curious to hear the person's voice. A soft, cracking female voice 

WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TONIGHT, WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TONIGHT, WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TONIGHT 

I dropped my phone at the second sentence because the woman sounded like a human snake. It was surreal. Her voice had the… I covered myself with the blood of Jesus and went to Jide’s door. I didn’t know why but for some odd reason I was shaking and I felt a cold presence in the apartment. As I was about to insert the key, I remembered that I had just changed the kitchen light bulb before going to bed last night. I got scared. I opened the door and saw Jide’s pieces  scattered about the room and blood everywhere. A young woman standing on the bed with her hands full of Jide’s blood but I couldn’t see her face. The door shut itself behind me and couldn’t open again. I felt fear, grief, anger, confusion and pain all in one. I could hear her breathe faster than a human being. I knew I was standing faced to the devil and I couldn’t move. She crawled on the walls and twisted her neck in a continuous 360 degrees angle. I thought of jumping through the window but she kept crawling around the room from the ceiling to the walls. I was glued to the door praying for a way to get out of there. Jide’s head was fixed on the lampstand and his individual feet were placed at the very edge of his bed giving room for me to believe she had created some sort of sanctuary. Blood was everywhere. Everywhere I turned… blood, fingers, arms, legs… manhood. The geography of his body parts had become a perfect triangle. She sat on the bed which formed the middle point of the triangle and pointed her fingers to the walls. It was written in blood:

WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TONIGHT

I read it in dismay. I just wanted to faint. I turned my eyes to her so I could see her face. The moment our eyes crossed she turned into a snake. A huge brown cobra. I stood still and it moved its head towards me. A dozen voices in one. 

WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TONIGHT. WE ARE EXPECTING YOU TONIGHT

I feared the worst. 

“Guy!” 

“Is he sleeping?”

“Uby. You no dey hear word? which kain sleep be this”

“Jide?! You are alive?”

“Ehn? Guy, how far for you na? You hear say dem do my burial?”

“Mehn… E get on kain dream wey I…”

“E don do. Guy, meet my babe. Tricia. She’s new in town. Na her birthday weekend. I say make organise something for am for Cream Ultra Lounge” 

“Hi Uby. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She was the exact same woman I saw turn into a snake in my dream.

“Where are you from?”

“Okay..I’m well too...thanks for asking. Anyways… I’m from Abia” 

“Uby, we go yarn later na.”
“Jide. Wait…”

“It’s nice meeting you, Uby. We are expecting you tonight ”

They left. My phone rang and I before could pick, the caller hung up.


I looked at my phone… And I had voicemail. 

- The Alpha Female 

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