Why My Daddy is The Most Special Man In The World
When I thought of you, I tried avoiding you because we always seem to clash, argue and fight. You weren’t always around and I kind of blame you for that. Then again it’s not entirely your fault. Now that I’ve grown, I know how life can be. Sometimes you want something but it seems like what you desire doesn’t want you. I used to blame you and mommy for not teaching me how to guard my emotions because you two were always fighting. I don’t know if you noticed the pain it caused me. I don’t know if you noticed I wasn’t standing with my emotions. I didn’t know how to talk so I either kept quiet or talked roughly when I my emotions took over me. I never understood why you were so protective of me. I never understood why you kept pushing me to do nothing but excel and bounce back. I sometimes just wanted to stay in my corner and keep crying. Sometimes I cried because of the harsh things you said that kept tearing me down. Sometimes I cried because you weren’t around and outsiders would be telling me how much of a bad person you are. I failed to see and read through your words of wisdom and now that I’m actually emotionally drained, I can now understand what you were trying to tell me. Our relationship was and is different from others because I literally tell you everything. Even when there is a new man in my life. You say he isn’t any good for me but you would let me go ahead and love him. When I come running to you in tears you are still the same dad that wipes my tears that keep rolling down my cheeks. When you call and I say i’m okay, you can tell when something is wrong no matter how convincing I try to sound. Now that I think of it, I regret not listening to you because this pain I’ve been trying to beat for the past 8 months… I could have avoided to it. You know me to be a very ambitious woman. I have so many dreams. I’ve discussed my business strategies and innovations with you countless times and you’ve been so proud of me. When you read my stories/articles and boast about how much of a brilliant and wise child I am, I feel so happy inside because yeah… Daddy is proud of me and that’s all that matters. You’ve offended me a lot of times but I can’t hate you. Even when I reach the zenith of my anger, I still forget what has happened and our relationship goes back to what it was before. But as I said… I have big dreams, daddy. But in my bid of chasing them, I chased them the wrong way believing it’s the only way. And I tried doing it alone, I did… I worked myself through emotional stress and then eventually when I was set to go… You know humans are so untrustworthy. Sometimes I sit down with a lot of words dancing on the tip of my tongue because even in talking to friends there isn’t any comfort. I just don’t know how to say what I want to say….But I just wanted to say you’re the most special man in the world.
- Sharon Omonze Ehis
( The Alpha Female)