In Love With A Man Way Too Old For me



There are days in a woman's life when it's only fair to reflect on past experiences and today is one of those days. Pain was my companion for a while and sometimes tears made us a threesome. Looking at the gift God placed in my life, I deserved everything better than bad. I am beautiful, I am smart, I am sophisticated, I am gifted... I am me. "Gloria, I'm sure he will say something tomorrow" is what I'd tell myself just to appease my wandering instincts. But tomorrow, become a day after tomorrow and a day after tomorrow became next week and next week became 'someday'. I would hear from him someday. I hate feeling as if I'm bugging a man or I'm chasing after him when truly, I just want someone to talk to. Or isn't my boyfriend supposed to be my best friend? When I call he doesn't pick and even when he picks, he's at work. Kelechi was the worst and best thing to ever happen me. For the times I did see him we bonded, went out, made out, made love... And then he leaves and I barely hear from him. I called Jane to tell her about how single I felt in this relationship. She's bae... She would tell me to hang on and try make it work before giving up on him. I could spend my entire night on his Facebook page... Thinking about him, imagining him being right here with me... But something wasn't  right... Whenever he left I felt empty, it was  as if a piece of me was missing. He was that missing piece. Kelechi was that missing piece. 

I was so excited that morning because first of all, it was my birthday and secondly... Kelechi and I agreed he would come to my place. I spent my day trying to find something neat and sexy to wear. Jane, Claire and Adaora came through that evening and we had fun. But then I had to push them out because, in my own words, "Bae is about to arrive any minute from now". It was 9pm... He said he would be here at 10pm. So I brought out the cake I hid from he girls, lit the candles, opened the windows, dimmed the lights, turned off the television... Kelechi was 17 years older than I was. I just turned 21. I didn't really care for his age. I just knew that I was madly in love with him and that's all that mattered.  I decided to take off my dress and wear just my peignoir... At least that would get his attention since we couldn't really communicate in our relationship. 

Midnight he wasn't here... I checked his Whatsapp "last seen at" and it said 2 minutes ago. I called his phone, he didn't pick up. I texted him both on Whatsapp and via sms, he read my messages and didn't reply. "Baby, where are you?" Mute. Whatsapp last seen, 1 minute ago. I was upset and felt stupid for even bothering to... I felt downgraded and pathetic. Like... This nigga really had me waiting up all night for him half naked? 5am, I couldn't sleep. I was worried. I just...

6am, I heard the bell ring. And there was Kelechi standing before me and his words were " I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I went clubbing with the boys" I was so angry. I had so many words I wanted to spill but I decided to not say a thing so he won't see me as a nag. I just kept quiet, staring at him aimlessly, tired and confused. Before I knew it, he started kissing me, touching me, telling he wanted to make it up to me... He was my weakness... I gave in. I woke up at 3pm with him staring at me angrily. In my mind I was like... We just had sex so what could be pissing him off? He didn't reply my greeting and started ranting and complaining about my sleeping habit saying he doesn't see any good reason for me not waking me up on time. He said he couldn't deal with me. He claimed I was lazy and that this habit is exactly why he doesn't date akatas. We argued and fought. I hadn't even brushed my teeth. I was just tired of his constant nagging. What did he expect me to do? I stayed up all night waiting for him and worried sick about his whereabouts.... Where exactly did I go wrong? 

He wore his clothes and stormed out of my apartment with fury. I took a deep breath and told myself this wasn't how I planned my birthday. I then noticed he forgot his wallet. Out of curiosity I decided to open it and to my surprise I saw my mother's picture in his wallet... She looked like she was about 16. I was perplexed... Kelechi opened the door and asked me what I was doing with his wallet. I ignored his question and asked what my mom's picture was doing in his wallet. He was in shock and couldn't utter a word. He kept staring at me and his eyes...


And it hit me... Kelechi was my dad who I had been searching for all these years.


- The Alpha Female 

Comments

  1. Wow, this story still gets me. Make a movie of it...

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