Elo Bae, How many People Have You Slept With Before Me?

"Have sex but stay innocent. Give us what we want, but we hate sluts. Virgins are so sweet. What do do you mean you want to stay abstinent before marriage? Do you even live in our society? Life without sex is boring. Life with sex is disgusting. God have you seen her? She's banged every guy in school. God have you seen her? Still a virgin at her age."

Ever since I started blogging in 2010, I have always voiced out my opinions on how weird and unjust the society we live in is. Heck, I have even gone ahead to preach the "no sex before marriage" sermon on various occasions. I have a few people whose timeline's I stalk every morning once I wake up to catch up on the gist I missed out on when I was fast asleep. I do sleep... Unlike a lot of people tend to believe. Like I said... I have preached the "no sex before marriage" sermon many times. Sometimes it was fuelled by the Word and sometimes it was fuelled by fear. And just sometimes it was the Holy Spirit's doing.

I have noticed how the famous body count remains a hot topic among us young people. I have actually noticed how a lot of men have said they don't care for their women's body count while a few said that the body count was a determining factor in the relationship. I haven't really been able to hear from the women perspective but since this is an opinion piece... :-)

I have always viewed sex to be a very intimate act between a man and woman who burn in love for each other. Like many illustrations depict the act,  it is the coming together of two souls to become one flesh. When growing up and listening to my surroundings, I use to wonder why people make such a big deal of sex. I remember asking my male friends why they didn't think waiting till marriage was possible and more so, why they found it to be a ludicrous idea. Their answer never satisfied my question bucket then and till date, it still doesn't.

As a woman,  and after giving the title of this article a long thought, I do care for the amount of women my guy as slept with. This is funny because I have never asked an ex "Hey Ochuko, how many women have you slept with so far?" because I know he will lie anyway. So why then am I still bothered with the amount of women he has slept with. Listen to me, or better still, open your eyes very wide as I am about to type the following words: sex matters whether it is casual or not. Everyone one of us carries some sort of energy in our bodies. Now, my observation has made a clear distinction between two types of energies: good energy and bad energy. So let's say my boyfriend Ochuko had already slept with about 5 different women in Nigeria before moving to Amsterdam to come and hustle. Ochuko had good energy before he lost his virginity. He slept with Simi that has bad energy.  After Simi, came Onome that has good energy. Ochuko has transferred his new acquired bad energy to Onome. Onome loves Ochuko but because Ochuko is a goat, he cheated on her by sleeping with Nkechi that has bad energy. Nkechi has slept with over 15 guys for sake of failed relationships. Ochuko is tired of the same positions and decides to try Ekaette that has bad energy. Ekaette rides Ochuko like public transport but mbok, she also sleeping with Oga Segun who is her madam's husband.  Ochuko has now moved to Amsterdam. Ochuko likes to turn up so he takes this white woman called, Tine, home. Tine has slept with about 50 black men in Amsterdam because yup... She likes the black mamba. And then Ochuko meets me. I have just one question: How many people were involved in this love/sex cycle?

That's exactly where my concern and problem lies with this topic. It's already interesting enough that we live in a small world where we are all connected to each other in one way or the other. I take my body and mind very seriously and I wouldn't anything to soil them. I'd be lying if I said I haven't come close to falling. Despite the existence of double standards, I don't feel some things should be taken advantage of. Notwithstanding the fact that there will always be other people he has slept with that might have blown his mind away... What am I even saying? His body count does matter to me. I don't know about you ladies but I wouldn't want to have 60 other people living inside me directly or indirectly. Does body count have to be a determining factor in your relationship? It shouldn't be... as long as they are not about to continue in that way. I haven't even spoken about those who just have casual sex anyhow.

Anyways what do I know... Je suis toujours vièrge! :-)

- The Alpha Female

Topic you'd love me to touch on? E-mail me! Sharonjane@afmblogs.com


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