The Mind of A Mad Woman


My dad once told me about Ijaw men. He said he didn't know much about them but he knew that they like to fish. Daddy said they liked to swim. More so, I had  never met an Ijaw man till I met Perowe but the likes of Asari Dokubo made me believe that Ijaw men were very hot tempered. And speaking of Asari Dokubo, his endless talks are very amusing yet true to an extent. I can't  recall how I met Perowe but it was when I was doing my youth service in Warri. I just came back from the States with a degree in law. I could have listened to my friends who told me to stay back and build my life there. But then... Something just kept drawing me back to my motherland Nigeria. My name is Isoken, by the way. Just in case the doctors tell you that I'm a hopeless case and I do not know what I'm saying. At least, I do know my name. It's Isoken O. I can't remember what the O stands for. But my last name is what it is... " O". 

I remember it was a very hot day. The sun whad reached its zenith and I was very tired. My camp coordinator was very furious. Hmm, Mr Makunle could shout and his shouting never really helped matters. We all didn't like him. He never made sense. He seemed like a man who loved to take out  his marital frustrations on us corpers. We were sent on assignments in groups of two. I went with Odafe or "Dafe" like we all called him in camp. Dafe was a womaniser but he respected himself around me for some odd reason. We had no water, no money. We just kept on walking and walking. Dafe kept asking me questions about my friend Simi. I ignored... I just wasn't in the mood. All I needed was some water. I was thirsty, drained and worn out. I can't remember if he stopped as he was driving or I met him at our given destination but I can remember he was the one who gave me water to drink... Perowe gave me water to drink on that hot sunny day.


To cut a long story short, it took me a while to give in to his advances. Perowe was... Or is.. Or rather, Perowe was a strange good looking man. I recall feeling less pretty when I was around him because he was that handsome and tall. How could such a man want to be with me? His laugh made me happy. His words made feel at peace. We never fought, never argued. I just knew I had found a man who gave me peace of mind. I didn't want to sell myself cheap to him so I didn't let him touch me or see my nakedness until a year after  we started seeing each other. Surprisingly enough, he never  made a big deal of my celibacy. He never forced me to do anything. He never even demanded anything from me. All I knew was that he was understanding, loving, caring, warm and that he loved to fish. Oh my good lord! Perowe could spend an entire weekend doing nothing but fishing.  Just fishing. And Whenever he caught a fish, his smile would reach both ends of the city. He was that happy catching fishes. He was a very strange  man. A very vibrant strange man. 

What no one can ever take from me is my last memory of Perowe. I remember that night vividly. We had agreed to go see his parents in his village. We had been together for about 4 years at this point. Upon arrival, I noticed how all the villagers wore traditional wears while I was the only woman wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. His aged mother came out dancing and rejoicing that her son had returned home and his father followed. It struck me that both his parents were very old. His mother spoke to me in her dialect but I couldn't understand her so she took my by the hand and led me into a hut were she gave me a purple wrapper and beads  to wear. She combed my hair joyfully and helped me change. I was slightly in shock but then I couldn't say anything. She was going to be my mother in law. At night, Perowe and I lay next to each other. Being in his arms that night was different than other nights. He held me so closely and kissed my forehead telling me how beautiful I was in eyes and how much he loved me. We made love... I felt passion that I had never felt before. Our bodies became one in that moment. His hands, his words, my body... He took charge and that's what I loved about him. He led and I followed... 

Just a few hours later, he told me that he needed to stretch and that he wanted to go fishing. I was a bit perplexed. It was past midnight, the village was asleep. Who would want to go fishing at such an ungodly hour? I insisted and begged him to stay but he was persistent. He told me not to worry and that he would be back. So I let him go. Perowe left and I decided to follow him to the river bank secretly. 

I watched him from afar. I hid in the bush and watched him fish. He was just fishing, I wanted to go back... But a voice instructed me to wait and watch. So I waited... 

Perowe stood up and raised his two hands to the full moon. His mouth moved but I heard nothing. And all of a sudden, he turned into a big fish and summersaulted into the water. 

I screamed and I think I passed out. 

When I woke up I found myself in this psychiatric hospital. 

That's the last thing I remember about your father, my dear. 

I don't know where Perowe is. 

- The Alpha Female 

@ms_sharinbaybeh

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