Weekend gist... Relationship goals!

Weekend Gist...The essence of Love, relationship goals. 

Dear future husband, 

Ah! I'm finally out of the shower. All cozy in bed. It's very unusual of me not to be listening to up tempo music. I feel I'm beginning change for some odd reason. Now that I'm actually letting go of the idea of being sheltered and protected... I do realise that it's a long process... Certainly, with my kind of person. But I think I like the idea God showcased on the table of my life. I mean now that I'm in this country, I see how God works in ways I cannot imagine. And yeah... I really do need to choose my words carefully when praying. Ever since I was a child, I used to say "let thy will be done in my life" in every single prayer.  I didn't know God paid attention to those words... Hmmm, my love? His will is truly not my will. But the good thing is that his will is always better than the best for you and I. Anyways... The reason why I'm writing you this letter. I had a very rough week but God turned my weekend into a very beautiful one. I don't think I have ever had this much fun in my life. You know how I always imagined having a gele on my head lol I finally got to tie it for the very first time in my life yesterday. And boy, I looked good! I laugh. My weekend was filled with love and I got to minister in the church again today. I'm back where I belong... Although I still have a long way to go in the ministry but I'm glad I'm back where I ought to be. So maybe just one day, I'd sing for you on our wedding day. I don't think God could have planned it any better. I'm so happy my heart has healed. It took a while as always... But it has healed. Seeing that couple in each other's arms made me realise how true love is the best when you are with THE one. Love is a beautiful thing... Excuse my hopeless romantic self. I do know that it's not perfect. Storms, hassles and fire will come but you know what? Love always conquers. So what then is it to love someone truly? Is it my not being able to get you out of my mind or staying with you even when there is no umbrella that shelters us from the rain and storm? I've noticed how many people make love seem so perfect. But its beauty lies in the cave of imperfection... That's how beautiful love is. It's very rare and when I see it, I recognise it because of its pure form. It kind of reminds of the love God showed the Israelites and his love for mankind now. So this is what I learnt this weekend, my king... This is what I've come to understand.

When Adam ate the apple as Eve had done, God already knew what had happened. But yet he asked... "Adam what have you done?" God gave Adam the chance to speak for himself. God heard Adam out. So when we do get married and start our family, I do hope I would have dropped this habit of not wanting hear anything when I have full evidence to convict you. I do pray and hope that I am the type of wife to exercise patience, not expecting perfection from you but helping you be the best man you can possibly be. 

Sacrifice... Did you notice that the Bible never recorded Adam arguing with Eve about eating the apple. Well... I've come to realise that he knew Eve would die. He didn't know how to bring her back to life  so he decided to lay his life for her and go with her. Love is about sacrifice. And yes, I have sacrificed some of my most valuable treasures for the wrong ones and in the process of realising this, I became very defensive. So I do pray and hope I can let down my guard for you. I do pray I can trust you to always return back to me even when no one else thinks you will. And I do pray that in the face of trial, I won't chicken out and leave you. Mind you, I'm not giving your permission to misbehave. I laugh. 

God's love for mankind is displayed in the most amazing ways. Noticed how God boasted about Job and his faithfulness? That's how I want to boast about you, or rather talk about you. I do pray I have no reason whatsoever to take our matters to a third party. Not even my closest friend, mom or sister would know our issues. Now I do pray and hope that I never have a reason to sink in my emotions when I'm with you. I've seen enough of sorrow. When I think about you, I think about joyful things. Especially when I finally push Kenny 25km away and make you my best friend ( sorry Kenny if you're reading this lol). My love is already unconditional sadly enough. So I wouldn't want to change it... Or experience anything that will turn it around... Just because I haven't met you yet doesn't mean you aren't out there somewhere. I've never been the type to give up on the things I want or believe in. So I'll find you... We will find each other sometime someday. And when we do find, I do hope the type of woman you love calling your own. 

Let me stop here... With all my hormones that are mounting up to my neck and that cannot wait to be unleashed... I'm still saving myself you. Even when I'm tired and can't for a while, God is still saving me for you. If I look at my experiences so far? I realise God must really take to you to be a very special man. Boy, I been close... So close... But I'm still here. You know what's funny? When I was 16... I used to tell myself that I would never date more than 2 guys before marriage because I didn't want  a piece of me to be with different people. I don't want have loved too many times that at the end, there's nothing left for you except broken pieces for you to mend. I want you to have it all. I want you to have all of me. 

Yes I'm saying it... Not every time do things alone... Sometimes have a man in charge of things. I don't want to be miss independent all time, sometimes...it's nice to just have someone to hold on to.

A lot of men are going to read this letter believing it's for them. But this letter is for YOU... And you alone. 

Good night, my king. 

Yours always, 

- The Alpha Female 


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