What They Won't Tell You About Falling In Love With Your Friend

I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt this free to write. A cold bottle of Malt couldn't harm any soul... Certainly not mine. Like I told you guys last week, I'll be touching on some topics in the coming days leading to my birthday. As stated earlier on, I feel my birthday will be marking a new era in my life and I do believe God that it would be a good era. There are a lot of things I have restrained myself from writing over the past couple of months. But a good friend of mine once told me to not hide my potential for sake of not hurting anyone. Today I want to talk about the very popular "falling in love with your male friend" scheme. Or if you are a man reading this, your female friend. I've gotten to hear so often that it is best to fall in love with and marry your (best) friend. I have, with time, restrained myself from living in a fairy tale and taken the courage to study my life and that of those around me. It is very easy for one to (want to) see the good in that saying. But I like to see it as a "movie versus reality" game plan. Movies always have happy endings but the opposite is true for reality. What if you end up losing your friendship in the course of chasing a relationship that was doomed from the start?

Few make it work, while others can't.  It sucks when you lose your friend to a failed dating attempt. In a case where I'm going through something and I feel he is the only one that can actually talk sense into me... I'll be at the point of wanting to text him but just before I can hit the "send" button, I remember that he's gone. Honestly, I don't know how people move past that and are capable of going back to just being friends. I'm of the opinion that when the physical and/or love comes in the friendship there is absolutely no way that friendship can be retrieved once both parties split ways. I've also come to understand that all friendships have different foundations. For some that foundation could be the fact that he makes you laugh whenever you are at your worse... Or, he's the perfect gist partner. Turning a friend into a lover has to be one of the most deadliest missions since the release of James Bond. The question is: does the value of your friendship exceed that of a relationship?

And then again... Falling in love with your friend has become one of the most easiest things to. The moment you two start talking more often than needed (that is... everyday), hang out a lot.... That's when the feelings begin to crop in. Nobody is above catching feelings honestly. It will happen when nature decides to make it happen. Damn nature, init?

Friendships are better than relationships. I will continue to say this till thy kingdom come. Ruining a good friendship over a relationship attempt is not the way forward. I say relationship "ATTEMPT" because some idiot decided to add "the talking to" phase into the game. It is better to go from talking to someone to just being friends than from being friends to "talking" or a relationship. You'd come to realise that once you two part ways, there is no way you two will ever be the same. At worst, you'd find yourself in a friends with benefits type of situation. (N.B: this is perfectly okay if that is what makes you happy). I am hereby not saying you guys will become enemies. Y'all can be cool but that actual friendship you two shared will be gone, never again to return.

I've personally told myself I'd never date any of my male friends again. I individualistically believe and know that I value my friendship with them more than a relationship. I've also come to understand that taking actions based on the thoughts of your heart will always leave you broke, broken and bitter. ( The 3 B's of Emotions coming soon hehe). It's best to weigh the longterm consequences as well. Then again, another good friend of mine once told me that to every rule there is an exception... either a good or bad one.

Now with that being said... Some people make it work, other can't. Relationships aren't black or white. You'd always find some grey, red, blue and green on your plate too. It's up to you to use your common sense to figure out which colour suits your skin perfectly.

But you also know what they say... If you never try, you'll never know...


- The Alpha Female  



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