My Experience Dating On Twitter: Another Woman In The Picture
I’m bringing this post late because I past the whole day trying to figure out if I really wanted to write about my experience with DF4. I mean it’s been over a year plus now. I’m completely over it but I still feel the wound is fresh. Though honestly, I barely even think about him or better still, he doesn’t even cross my mind at all... Maybe because I had already been through the whole fuckery before he came into the picture. I’ll just call him Timothy. DF4 makes him sound like the name of an airplane’s black box. Speaking of airplanes…. Sigh!
The first post I wrote about this topic… Well! I mentioned DF4 was the worst experience out of all 4. (Sorry, Timothy) It wasn’t really about what he did or didn’t’ do… It was more of a situation were I completely and honestly lost every inch of respect I had for someone who I thought was honest. Timothy taught me that you shouldn’t listen to what a man is saying but you should listen to exactly what he isn’t telling you. I think by the time you’re done reading this post, you’d understand better. It might get long… So brace yourselves. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, let me take you down the lane of pure stupidity. By who? Yours truly.
What happened was the following. Remember how I was going through my break up with “Bode” and I was constantly ranting on twitter? Well… during one of those nights, I came back from the library. I was quite frustrated and pissed at the situation so I got on Twitter and did what I knew how to do best: rant. That’s how Timothy saw my tweets and DM’ed me. Before then I’d only exchanged jokes with him on the TL every now and then. I didn’t really know him like that. He messaged me asking me if I was okay and that he had noticed I had been ranting for a while now. Short story, he asked for my Skype ID and I did what I know how to do best: open up. I told him what had happened and he seemed surprised. That’s how we became friends. In that moment Timothy comforted me, I could always count on him to be available to talk. Me? I just needed to someone I could rant to. During one of our various conversations he had mentioned he was in a long distance relationship. So I was like “ oh that explains why he’s always indoors after work” and that was actually one of the things that made me respect him at first. He had seemed like a faithful and nice guy from what I could see and he was always honest. You know how things go when you start talking to someone every single day… You start developing a crush. I had a crush on him but I never acted on it because I was like he’s already in a relationship. So I just kept it platonic. Anyways summer was over and I went back to school. I became busy and he was too so we couldn’t really talk like that. My crush died down and I continued to hurt over Bode. One day Bode was threatening me and I was scared and crying so I called Timothy and he listened to me. He told me not to cry… that all would be well. And most importantly he said I could always call him and that he would be there for me. So I hung up. And I think that was before we lost touch again.
Anyways during that time, Timothy would pop out of nowhere and say “you’re beautiful”. I was like jeez, thanks. I always left it at that. I can’t recall how we connected on Whatsapp again but anyways, we did. So this one night, I think I changed my display picture. He came again with the “you’re very beautiful” out of nowhere. And then he told me that he has feelings for me. And that he had developed feelings for me all those times we were constantly talking and that it was hard to not fall for me. So I was like… Why exactly do you have feelings for me? He said something about me being very passionate and emotional… Something about me being “special”. I then said that it was funny because I had a crush on him too. He was like “really? So we were just torturing ourselves all this while”. Looking at it now, torture never killed anybody in my family so… We should have just tortured ourselves.
Anyways you guys remember yesterday’s post about Bayo and Timothy, right? You’d probably understand why I cut communication with Timothy if you read that post.
Between dating Bayo and breaking up with him, I hadn’t spoken to Timothy in like 3 months. I posted a picture on IG and Timothy remembered me. “Hey babe”. I guess the picture was a thirst trap. I said “Hey stranger”. He said that how can? We are not strangers and blah blah. He was interested in knowing what I was up to. I told him I was packing for a trip. He said to where? I said I was about to spend time with Mickey and Koko. He smiled.
I finally arrive at Koko’s house and I tell her what’s happening. She just got mad like… She doesn’t trust him. And I looked at her crazy because she hadn’t met him before. She said “Yeah, I know… But I don’t trust him. He’s not good for you”. So Timothy was trying to see me, Koko looked at me like… If I give this guy her address she will be mad at me. So she took my phone and started responding to his texts messages. Me and Koko are that close actually. She finally gave him the address. So I invited Mickey over… The plan was: let’s just make it a friendly meeting so it won’t be awkward. Koko’s friend, Rose, came over too. Rose started teasing me all over the place like “You’re finally going to meet this twitter boyfriend ehh”. She honestly made me nervous because he wasn’t my boyfriend. Before I left to go see Koko, I had told my mom about Timothy and she said “whatever will be, will be”. My mom advised me not go into anything until I see him and I should study him well.
His text came in … he was at the gate. Mickey had already arrived. I looked at Koko like are you going to follow me open this gate for him or nah? She was like nope. I should just do it myself. I think my hands were shaking when I took the keys and went down the stairs. One kind heat just entered my chest. You know how you always feel awkwardly warm when you’re nervous? When I’m nervous I get very quiet. So as I was walking to the gate… My heart was racing. I saw the car and I stopped. I just pretended like I didn’t know what key to use. Those were like the 30 longest seconds of my life. I continued to walk and then I pressed the button and he drove in. He first whined down the window of his car and said...
“So this is you”
And then he had that cute laugh of his. It’s not cute to me anymore actually. But anyways… He asked me where could park. I told him to park anywhere. Wetin consign me, consign parking space? So I just walked slowly to where he parked his car. I was about to give him a handshake but he gave me a tight hug. He smelled so good. We both said it’s been a long time coming. He held my hand. Meanwhile I didn’t know Rose and Koko had sneaked downstairs to see what was going on. When they saw we had had seen them, they ran back upstairs. Little did I know that they went upstairs to tell everyone we were holding hands. Me too… Why was he holding my hand? Anyways, we went upstairs and we all talked and blah blah. That night Mickey ended up taking me to club for the very first time in my life. We had fun…. Although yeah… I needed to warm up to the idea of being in a club. Timothy came too. Matter of fact they both dragged me out to the club that night. Timothy was the one that dropped me off. Perfect gentleman, I said. But God was just laughing.
To cut a long story short, he was always busy while I was around. I was like well… I understand the nature of his job. I met his people, friends… “He always talking about you”.
So he came to take me out to watch a movie. While he was driving he asked me a funny question. “Why haven’t you had your first kiss?” I told him the truth. Because I know myself, I can love someone deeply without even being physical with them. Getting physical would mean me giving my entirety to someone. And I don’t want that to happen with someone I cannot vouch for. Someone who doesn’t love me the same… I just don’t want to be emotionally attached to anyone. Guess what? That same night we went to a bar and I told him I liked him. And he said he knew and that I already know he likes me too. See… telling him I liked him probably took the last energy left in my bones. That same night we kissed. Don’t ask me how or why but we kissed and I allowed it. And you know what, again? When he dropped me off he said…
I had thought about it but I didn’t ask him because I believed he was a truthful person. And that if he was seeing someone he wouldn’t be doing stuff like this. But I answered him and said “I just couldn’t ask”.
“Well if you ask me I wouldn’t say she’s my girlfriend. But yeah… I’m talking to someone”.
I waved him goodbye and collapsed on my bed. Like God… What just happened? I called Koko and Rose, told them what happened and they both said… Ok, he just fucked up but maybe he actually likes me. I think I cried a few tears and called uncle Sola like I don’t know what to think right now. He said I should just relax… Not to think about it too much. And so I saw this man again, I asked him how about this other woman. He said “anything can happen lol”. You know men really piss me off, right? Sometimes I genuinely feel that they are stupid but let me continue this story. We still kissed o. hmmm!
I’m came home and told my mom everything that had happened but for some odd reason she liked Timothy. And she would say “ ehen! When next he calls you, extend my greetings to him.” But Inever did. That’s because when I came back home, I started having weird dreams. Me and Timothy still kept in touch quite regularly. Anytime I say let me close my eyes I’m always seeing another woman. So much at a time I saw that same woman wear my wedding dress. I was like “ not today satan”. I fasted and prayed midnight prayer with my Prayer Rain book. My mom would come to my room 3am and ask me if I was okay because she heard me pray. I told her about the dreams… She said I should keep praying and let God do His work.
I had noticed a certain woman on Twitter always talking about him and all. I was like oh maybe they are close friends. Koko calls me out of the blue and is like...
Yup… I just spoke to him… why?
“I just saw him it at a party with this one girl and they were doing PDA… and nobody seemed surprised.”
I laughed. Nah, it’s cool. I didn’t say a word. I was waiting for him to say 5 words: Sharon, I have a girlfriend. One month passed, 2 months… 3 months … And he didn’t say anything. He holla’d like nothing was happening but he couldn’t say those 5 words. After the 3rd month, I got tired and I blocked him.
After 2 months, he messages me… “Did… you… block… me… everywhere?”. I was with my ex at the time and he was with my phone. So he replied at first. It wasn’t until I got home that I saw the message and I responded and told him why I blocked him.
“ lol… yes I have a girlfriend. I knew a long distance relationship wasn’t for me from the get go. So I decided to not live in a fairytale and get myself a real life girlfriend” blah blah and… blah.
So from being a woman with too much drama, I became a fairytale. You knew this from the get go but you still went ahead? Sigh! I wished him all the best and left it there. But I was hurt. I felt deceived. I had deeper trust issues. I was just disappointed. More importantly, I regretted ever knowing him. I never expected it to happen this way…. I was even more angry because before I went to see Koko, I went on my knees and prayed. And I told God that if Timothy wasn’t for me, He should render it impossible for me to meet him. So I looked up to sky and said…. God why me?
At this point I had a lot of healing to do. I was hurting for a very long time but I can give myself a tap on the back for not ranting on Twitter.
“We have unfinished business” after 3 months. And I’m like … nah.
I don’t give men second chances and I don’t entertain a lot of things from them in general. This is because I don’t’ like deceiving myself. You know it actually hurts when you respect someone and they show you they can’t be trusted. Being in a relationship isn’t by force. And I’ve vowed to never beg a man to be with me . If you don’t want to be with me, that’s fine. But never you think leaving me in darkness will help matters. I’m not a fool… Don’t treat me like one. And reducing me to an option? lol. FIVE words could have given me the closure I needed from the get go. I’m not that person that will hold any man back from doing what he wants to do. But mind games? Nah. Even my mom was disappointed too. Lol I really put this woman through a lot for nothing.
You see, guys… I’ve experienced a lot on Twitter. Most things I can confidently shed light on are things I learned through twitter. I have met the world’s most amazing people and I have met a lot of bad people too. The thing is I never searched for these experiences. These experiences found me in a little village in Belgium… You know what? I’ll talk about this tomorrow. I’ll tell you guys all you need to know tomorrow. Deal?
And oh boyfriend number 5… BAE ! A.k.a the best man ever liveth! I love him so much, you guys… sometimes I can’t explain it. This is actually healthy, ya know? True love is healthy. And the good thing about this is that all my friends like him. So no one will come and singing “he’s a bloody prick!” in my ear. I can rest small. I won’t be telling you guys how met I him or started dating him because I want to save the best for last… And hopefully this is the best… and the last.
Mi no fi like stress pon mi life!
Chat with you tomorrow…
- The Alpha Female