My Experience Dating On Twitter
I really don’t know what came over me earlier today when I was having lunch at the university restaurant. I guess the realisation that the year is about to end really struck me hence the reason why I decided to tweet the following:
I had a few people react to my tweet. I just wanted my tweet to be funny but it actually is the blatant truth. It’s a bit awkward and shameful to share this part of my life with you guys because yeah… A few people might say “she didn’t have a life”. I have a life now, go figure. I’ve dated a sum of 5 guys off twitter. 3 of them were near Hitler experiences. The fourth one was the worst of them all despite the fact that I managed to keep my head above ranting on twitter. And then we have the lucky 5th who is currently bae. I guess the differences between the 5th and the others is that this is my first time having a real relationship. We actually see each other face to face and I’ve known him for a while and studied him well before even agreeing to be his girlfriend. If you told me last year that I would end up being in a relationship with this man I would have said it was a lie. Believe you me, after the 4Th I was drained. I know some of you may be eager to know if I ever dated anyone offline. The answer is yes, I have… twice… Well almost twice. The first one was, bleh. The second one turned out to be a married man with 3 kids. You know how everyone attends RCCG and Amsterdam is quite a small city . Thank God I escaped that one. But that experience really left me with deeper trust issues.
Anyways, talking about my experience… I will be detailed but I will not be mentioning names. This topic will probably be very long to talk about but I’ve decided to divide my story in parts which I will be posting every day till the entire story is finished. It’s not fictional like every other story I’ve written so far on this blog. This is a true life story and I’ve decided to not hide behind creative writing this time. I will be talking about how and why I “fell” for these guys. More so I will tell you what impact these various relationships had on me. I remember the nights when I use to cry after each failed relationship. I would literally ask God why I was stupid and blind. In everything I blamed myself. My mom and I are very close so I would tell her everything. Oh I can remember my beautiful mommy sitting on her bed with her prayer cap on her head. Anytime I told her I liked someone she would first say
“Show me his picture”
“chai! Aya! He’s very ugly. Sharon what is this?”
“Stop this computer boyfriend nonsense”
Now that I think of it, I can actually laugh about it because I was very naïve. My mom would come up to my room and ask me if I was literally crying because of somebody on the internet. My mom probably is the funniest woman ever and I’m sure you guys would love to meet her.
Let’s start with why and how I joined twitter. I joined twitter at age 16 and that’s because I was doing some research on Mary Mary. I so much loved their music that when Google suggested I contact them via Twitter, I ended up writing my very first tweet with the handle @ChildOfGod_ . My first tweet contained 5498 chars about how much l loved Mary Mary and they should keep up their good work. I clicked “send” and the thing didn’t go. I didn’t understand twitter so I logged off and left it. Let me say this… I joined twitter at a time where I was emotionally unstable. I was 16 years old, bullied in high school and to top it, I was dealing with low self- esteem. I was the only black student in school and most of my friends were far away in Brussels or The Netherlands. So I pretty much lost touch with them. Twitter did play a very important role in making me the woman and blogger that I am today. A few months later I discovered Mohits and followed Don jazzy and co. That”s basically how I started getting followers.
My first “boyfriend”… I will call him Olu for today. How did I fall for him again? Oh yeah. So you see what happened was that Olu was just 2 years older than me. I was about 17, he was 19 and living in Nigeria. I was living in Belgium at the time. Bear in mind that I’ve never been to Nigeria before even till date. This was 5 years ago. Ohhhh! I remember when I would sneak into the living room in the middle of night to use the computer so I could check his Facebook. My childhood best friend, Koko, didn’t like him at all. She kept saying his head was shaped weirdly and that I should just forget it. She kept calling him an egghead. If you read my blog well enough, you would know I don’t easily give up on love. I think what made me like Olu was that he was one of the first people (outside my family) to call me beautiful. Anytime I saw his picture my heart would jump. In that same period of time I became friends with a girl named Cindy. Apparently Cindy knew Olu before I did and they had already met before. They where like brother and sister… I guess. This was during the time odinabarbie was reigning. Olu would DM me and ask me about my day… we chatted frequently and then he asked me for my BB pin. I didn’t know what BB pin was and he laughed at me. That’s how I went to disturb my mom to buy Blackberry Curve for me. The day Olu finally called me, I melted. He introduced me to Skype. So we saw and talked through skype for a bit. And then he asked me if I was sexually active. I told him the truth. I was a virgin and I didn’t want to lose it till marriage… but another truth was that intimacy just scared me (maybe I’ll talk about this some other time). He was so happy to hear that I was still a virgin. I can still remember that grin on his face. AH! He was so happy and he started talking about marriage and all of that good stuff.
Our honeymoon phase probably lasted about 3 weeks. After that we started arguing all the time. I got jealous when he was flirting with other girls on his timeline. I tried very hard to hide it but sometimes I would just get on Skype and not say a word to him. Then he would always do this one annoying thing: tell me to look into the webcam so he can see my eyes very clearly. I felt so awkward. He would then say “I love you” and I’d calm down. But then yeah… we argued and argued. Cindy would always say “leave that bloody prick! He’s a prick! Prick this! Prick that!” And then Olu finally dropped the bomb on me… He said he would want to wait till marriage but that he can’t. He said he loves me but he still has to have sex. I was down for a period of time. I was here contemplating things. He said when he will be doing it with another woman he will be thinking about me. Hey!
I personally believe that if one could send virginity through DHL, I probably would have. I actually just realized that I gave him permission to cheat on me. Eventually we had a heated argument and I called it off. I can’t remember what it was about else I would have shared it. At this point I was already @naija_princess1. I deleted my Twitter account out of anger and lost the 752 followers I had worked so hard to gain. Back then when you deleted your account, reactivating it was impossible.
Despite the mild “Hitlerisitic” experience, I do have to give props and thanks to Olu for respecting me to an extent. Olu never asked me for unclad pictures nor did he ask to see me naked on Skype. That is quite rare… and Oh… I haven’t met Olu till date. Anytime he messages me to tell me he will be in my area, I just bone.
I don’t know… But I have a feeling we will meet sometime someday.
Anyways… enough for today… I’ll tell you guys all about boyfriend number 2 tomorrow.
Hey! Do you have an online dating experience you’d like to share on this blog anonymously? E-mail me! firstname.lastname@example.org . Let’s help each other learn and guide those who are new to this game! My twitter is @Eloghosa_O